Girlymel2020 – “Pure Randomness”

Reports have confirmed that Chris Brown assaulted Rihanna causing visible bruises to her face and neck area. We certainly can agree that domestic abuse; regardless of the contributing factors it is intolerable. While getting my daily blogging fix, I came across another report stating that “Chris Brown and his camp are in dire need of a Damage Control Expert to revamp his career”. If so, judging from the hard work he put into his music and acting careers and the young followings he has acquired as a result, one can see why this would be the focus of his attention. I happened to think that while his intentions are well founded; his motive on the other hand needs to be revised; especially, in a domestic abuse situation. Why you ask? I’m no business conduct expert but I am here to tell that with my years of living in America and studying its culture, he is going about this the wrong way. Chris Brown should refocus his attention on rebuilding his character not his career. Conviction, humility and authenticity are essential ingredients the American people seek. Once he has made progress doing so the public will have no choice but to follow in his lead.

Although what he did is unacceptable, I unreservedly believe that Chris Brown is quite capable of turning this situation around to bring awareness domestic violence. Who better to speak up against this malady in our society than the person who actually inflicted and reminded us of its inattentive wounds? Nonetheless, before he can move forward, Chris needs to find it in himself to take full accountability for his action and genuinely express his remorse for committing such atrocity. After he has found it within himself to take responsibility for his actions and acknowledge the consequences of his action, Chris must then forgive himself before he can ask anyone for their forgiveness. The two are deeply connected and cannot operate without each other. Here’s what I propose:

* First, inform your family and friends not to comment on the situation any further. Recent comments from your camp seem very unremorseful and are bound to be negatively scrutinized by the media. This can put additional irreparable damage to your already awful situation.

* Rihanna might not be interested in seeing you at this point – understandably so, but if she is willing, take time to personally apologize to her. As trite as this may seem, say something along the lines of. “I don’t expect for you to forgive me and I can certainly understand if you don’t but I just want you to know that I am truly sorry for what I have done. You did nothing to deserve…” If you are unable to accomplish this, resort to your second viable option, email. Even though, I highly don’t recommend emails for expressing important apologies of this kind (because of its impersonal nature). I think by doing so you are demonstrating your sincerity and as ironic as it sounds you are telling her in a subtle way you value her feelings.

* Reasonable time has past Chris, please keep in mind there is an unwritten grace period in which the media and fans allows for public apologies and or statements. I think the times has come for you to conduct a press conference and or release not fully explaining what transpired (due to the legalities involve) but to acknowledge your faults and genuinely apologize for your actions. Seek the advice of your legal expert before doing so. An opening statement similar to Marion Jones won’t hurt. For example, It’s with a great amount of shame that I stand before you today…

* Once you have accomplished the above, you are now ready to move onto the third part of your transformation. Surrounding yourself with people who have your interest at heart and who are willing to assist you through this tough time. Seeking help from a highly recommended professional Psychotherapist will help you to unearth suppressed emotions that are necessary for you to move towards your healing process. Yes, it’s tedious but immersing yourself in anger management therapy will prove beneficial in long-term. Remember an important element of coping with anger is to disassociate yourself with people who fuel your anger or support your anger. This is no walk in the park; you’ll probably relapse during your journey but hold true to your faith.

* If in fact you have followed all the advice given to you by your psychotherapist and as a result you have made tremendous progress. Don’t be afraid to pay it forward. Share your experiences with others who have been in the same situation. Enlist the expertise of others and develop a program to help battered children or children from battered homes also makes for a great idea.

We are products of our environment. And while we adamantly claim that we are not going to take on the negative behaviors of those who have impacted our makeup, constant exposure to these kinds of behaviors can desensitize any individual. Unless we are aware that we are victims of own circumstances, remove our self from situation and not surround our self with enablers only then can we consciously and affirmatively make the right decisions against these behaviors. Simply put, you can’t soar with eagles if you flock with turkeys. Research tells us that attitudes affect our behavior. I don’t claim to have all the answers by any means, but what I do hope is to provide the information for those who seek it.

The idea Chris is to give the public what they want to hear (the truth) before they start seeking for what they want. Benchmark from others not necessarily in the same predicament but who have endured the same public scrutiny and notice the pattern in their results.

What do I have to say to those who ask?

Why would you write a damage control plan for Chris Brown and not for Rihanna considering you are a woman?

I just want to make clear that I’m by no means questioning Rihanna’s input or position in the assault nor I’m I diminishing the pain she endured as result of Chris’s action. My sole intention when writing this blog was acknowledge, yes, he did something extremely wrong and yes, yes, yes his actions might seem inexcusable to some but that we should take time to analyze his makeup, only then will we be able to understand (for a lack of better word); Why he did what he did and in turn help him to move towards progressive change. It doesn’t make it right but it will shed some light on the situation.

I think as society we are quick to rip the young guy to shreds without taking time to ask whether after revealing in an interview for a magazine about his abusive past, if aid was given to help him work through his pain? These things just don’t fix itself. He was trusted in the celebrity spotlight at a very young age, with all the attention and expectations that comes with it. We almost forgot that he’s human. Keep in mind that this is a young man who not only have not discovered his identity but who as a little boy growing up witness his mother being battered and still holds great resentments towards his stepdad. If one is not thought how to cope with his or her anger they are susceptible to resurface when triggered and as you can see his assault on Rihanna proves exactly that.

Is Chris Brown Career Over?

For now yes, indefinitely, well the answer is based upon two main contributing factors that are within his control. If in fact Chris Brown follows all protocols set to him by his potential advisors and visibly reveals progressive change as result then yes there is a possibility that his career can be back on track or even be better than it was before. On the reverse side of things, if Chris Brown chooses to remain blissful ignorant of his actions then yes it’s indefinitely over.

I am fan of Chris Brown, should I continue to support him?

Again, this dependant upon similar contributing factors as discussed in “Is Chris Brown Career Over?” By allowing a public figure like Chris brown to fail we are sending our youths a very strong message, a message of hopelessness.

Peace,

Girlymel2020.wordpress.com
“America loves a good come back story”